Saturday - 11:37pm

Okay so, as it turns out - doing a blog while you're in labour (or while your wife is in labour) is CRAZY easy. Lesson learned. Doing ANYTHING at all for the next 3 days? Harder!

I keep sitting up to type and going, "Oh god, fuck...damnit...I could be napping instead...why am I torturing myself?! Then someone visits. Then a nurse walks in. Then it's time to eat. Then it's time for him to eat. Then someone visits. Then a nurse walks in. Then it's time to eat. Then it's time for him to eat. And then...I just cry." This probably sounds familiar to every woman who has ever had a baby in a hospital. Tomorrow I am implementing a strict "20 minute visit" policy.

Yes, 20 minutes. I love you all but I need alone time or I'm going to dissolve into a pile of tears and blood or something.

I'm feeling better today after just getting some SLEEP and finally getting off the strong painkillers. Simon and I are taking feeds in shifts (mostly, I do ALL the breast feeds but he does half the formula top-ups which takes up 95% of the time anyway). Afterward, if I'm not falling asleep (very much 'if'), I will lie with Xander naked on my naked chest for a while. This makes both of us INSANELY happy. New favourite thing ever. Planning on spending full days like this if possible.

Today I was actually coherant enough to PREPARE myself for feeds. Water, a snack, the formula to top him up (taken out an hour beforehand (it's chilled) so it's room temperature), a towel (or blanket) or two, a fresh diaper, wipes and a fresh sheet. So far this is good, as it lets me feel more comfortable while I'm feeding him.

Looking forward to going home...if only so I can be in familiar surroundings and can start to move on from this place. The staff here are great but...home is home.

Time to feed him now, more later.

Saturday 11:52 am

In the midst of a small window where I'm awake enough to compose coherent sentences of bananas and fish, I figured I should post something . . .

Xander spent most of the last few days here with us, with regular visits to the nicu for things like help with breastfeeding, help with breastfeeding, and help with breastfeeding (seeing a pattern yet?). He's been well behaved and quiet, but he's been having issues latching to the nipple properly, and Sandra's had some issues helping him to latch. That said he's been having regular feeds from the breast, and happily eating from the bottle.

Later, at 9:20pm

We were moved to the postnatal ward this afternoon, where Sandra's been getting more assistance with feeding Xander, and more assistance with him in general - the postnatal ward is set up to deal with new parents, in a way the antenatal war isn't. Sandra's having more success feeding him now, and he's been discharged so we're completely responsible for him. It's rather nice, and we're coping pretty well, now that Sandra's more confident with the feeding. We're also getting better at other aspects of this parenthood thing, like settling him and dressing him. I just changed his clothes and wrapped him, and when he didn't want to settle I used my finger as a dummy - after a few minutes he was sleeping happily and I could (carefully) pull my finger out.

Before that moment I couldn't imagine putting my finger in a baby's mouth, let alone use it as a dummy - I've always found sticky things icky, so the idea wouldn't have occurred to me. But it was totally natural and not icky at all.

So yeah, things are settling down and I think they're looking good for the future.

A couple of things that I'm currently thinking of: spending a while in hospital is a quick sharp lesson in basic hygiene - I've washed my hands more often and more thoroughly than ever before on my life, and I've been constantly bombarded by hygiene related messages and dictums. To go onto the nicu you have to take off all jewelery and was your hands and forearms; one time I was asked to wear a facemask because of my cold. Unfortunately, the constant hand washing has resulted in extremely dry skin on my hands - so dry it's cracking and bleeding. I'm goingg to have to use some of Sandra's udder cream to make them less painful.

On the other hand being here has been really valuable. Being able to find a midwife and get a fairly authoritative answer to any questions, and help dealing with any problems, is really great.

Thursday 1:20 am

Almost too tired to post anything.

Alexander Henry Douglas Fowler was born at 23:08 on the 25th of August 2010, weighing 3740g and 40-something centimeters in length . . . And stuff. There's other stats about him, I'm sure, but I can't remember them. I'm sure they're written down somewhere.

Sandra's on morphine to deal with the caesarian pain, which seems to be harder to deal with than contractions. Possibly because of the nitrous, which seems to have been very effective.

Xander isn't with us because of the morphine Sandra got - it meant that he came out drugged, and had a little difficulty establishing breathing on his own. He was perfectly healthy otherwise, but the initial problems meant he had to go to a neonatal care unit for the night.

Unfortunately that meant Sandra hasn't been able to see him yet aside from right after he was pulled out, covered in blood and vernix. If he's okay in a few hours they may bring him down so she can see him - maybe even try feeding him.

So, I guess that means the labour part of the blog is done . . .

Wedmesday 10:53 pm

So, she's at 8cm dilation, but his head isn't fully past the brim of the pelvis (words from Ayesha - blame her for any errors ;-). So, they're doing a c-section. I'm waiting to be allowed in.

Wednesday 10:43 pm

Waiting is a bitch.

Wednesday 10:24 pm

I get to wear scrubs!

Sandra's in the or with Susie, I'm waiting outside to be called in. no idea what's happening aside from ghe gist of it.

Xander is fine, Susie reckons the cord is being constricted and that's what's causing the decelerations. I don't know what that means as far as c-section vs. vaginal vs. whatever, but I figure Susie knows . . .

All I can do o is wait.

wedenesday 10:11 pm

rushing to pack everything up so we can run down and steal an OR, from which Susie will examine Sandra and we'll decide where to go from there.

Any further posts will be from my phone, or done after everything's done and dusted. Bye for now!