Okay so, as it turns out - doing a blog while you're in labour (or while your wife is in labour) is CRAZY easy. Lesson learned. Doing ANYTHING at all for the next 3 days? Harder!
I keep sitting up to type and going, "Oh god, fuck...damnit...I could be napping instead...why am I torturing myself?! Then someone visits. Then a nurse walks in. Then it's time to eat. Then it's time for him to eat. Then someone visits. Then a nurse walks in. Then it's time to eat. Then it's time for him to eat. And then...I just cry." This probably sounds familiar to every woman who has ever had a baby in a hospital. Tomorrow I am implementing a strict "20 minute visit" policy.
Yes, 20 minutes. I love you all but I need alone time or I'm going to dissolve into a pile of tears and blood or something.
I'm feeling better today after just getting some SLEEP and finally getting off the strong painkillers. Simon and I are taking feeds in shifts (mostly, I do ALL the breast feeds but he does half the formula top-ups which takes up 95% of the time anyway). Afterward, if I'm not falling asleep (very much 'if'), I will lie with Xander naked on my naked chest for a while. This makes both of us INSANELY happy. New favourite thing ever. Planning on spending full days like this if possible.
Today I was actually coherant enough to PREPARE myself for feeds. Water, a snack, the formula to top him up (taken out an hour beforehand (it's chilled) so it's room temperature), a towel (or blanket) or two, a fresh diaper, wipes and a fresh sheet. So far this is good, as it lets me feel more comfortable while I'm feeding him.
Looking forward to going home...if only so I can be in familiar surroundings and can start to move on from this place. The staff here are great but...home is home.
Time to feed him now, more later.
A Small Warning
While Simon and I are doing this to keep our friends/family/acquaintences in the know and so that we can remember the experience - we know that a great many people forget the insane emotions that go through them at a time like this. They remember joy, nervousness and excitement but tend to forget things like annoyance, anger and exhaustion. This is also a little bit of an experiment for us as well as (hopefully) a bit of reality for someone else out there who wants a bit of a real play-by-play of the emotional rollercoaster of childbirth and parenting. ...granted, I know that my experience is only one...but hey...still worth trying.
That said, not all of this blog is going to be happy and shiny. There will be some real, raw emotions here and we're going to express them pretty openly. We hope that this doesn't make anyone feel as if we're in any way unhappy about the birth of our son or that we're somehow not excited or don't love him. For us, this is the reality of things that people don't really talk about or express. I think that is extremely important to remember.
We may use foul language. ...you're warned.
That said, not all of this blog is going to be happy and shiny. There will be some real, raw emotions here and we're going to express them pretty openly. We hope that this doesn't make anyone feel as if we're in any way unhappy about the birth of our son or that we're somehow not excited or don't love him. For us, this is the reality of things that people don't really talk about or express. I think that is extremely important to remember.
We may use foul language. ...you're warned.
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