A Small Warning

While Simon and I are doing this to keep our friends/family/acquaintences in the know and so that we can remember the experience - we know that a great many people forget the insane emotions that go through them at a time like this. They remember joy, nervousness and excitement but tend to forget things like annoyance, anger and exhaustion. This is also a little bit of an experiment for us as well as (hopefully) a bit of reality for someone else out there who wants a bit of a real play-by-play of the emotional rollercoaster of childbirth and parenting. ...granted, I know that my experience is only one...but hey...still worth trying.

That said, not all of this blog is going to be happy and shiny. There will be some real, raw emotions here and we're going to express them pretty openly. We hope that this doesn't make anyone feel as if we're in any way unhappy about the birth of our son or that we're somehow not excited or don't love him. For us, this is the reality of things that people don't really talk about or express. I think that is extremely important to remember.

We may use foul language. ...you're warned.

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Sometimes I feel like I'm drowning and there's no one I can talk to. I mean, there are people I could talk to but no one who wants to hear anything I have to say. ...and I get that. After a while, hearing about someone's problems becomes tedious. ...unfortunately, it leaves me with a powerful urge to scream at the top of my lungs just to get the tension out - because I've got no other way.

I don't feel a bond with Xander. I don't feel like he's mine, I don't feel love for him most of the time and he annoys me most of the time. I know that bonding takes time...especially when you were separated for a time after birth, but sometimes i just feel like I'm drowning.
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