A Small Warning

While Simon and I are doing this to keep our friends/family/acquaintences in the know and so that we can remember the experience - we know that a great many people forget the insane emotions that go through them at a time like this. They remember joy, nervousness and excitement but tend to forget things like annoyance, anger and exhaustion. This is also a little bit of an experiment for us as well as (hopefully) a bit of reality for someone else out there who wants a bit of a real play-by-play of the emotional rollercoaster of childbirth and parenting. ...granted, I know that my experience is only one...but hey...still worth trying.

That said, not all of this blog is going to be happy and shiny. There will be some real, raw emotions here and we're going to express them pretty openly. We hope that this doesn't make anyone feel as if we're in any way unhappy about the birth of our son or that we're somehow not excited or don't love him. For us, this is the reality of things that people don't really talk about or express. I think that is extremely important to remember.

We may use foul language. ...you're warned.

Monday, August 23, 2010

Tuesday - 12:21am

Having a pretty awful day so far. While I knew that it was policy that husbands aren't allowed to stay here with their wives (the policy stands for the ENTIRE STAY but is usually dropped after the woman's given birth), I thought perhaps that a concession might be made when my mental state was taken into consideration.

On top of everything else, I forgot to take my second antidepressant until it was FAR too late and it hadn't kicked in yet when everything happened.

For those who aren't aware, I'm introverted. Sure, I'm social and I can be all wacky and inappropriate and ha, ha, ha...but I need my space. In fact, I need a private little cave in which I can hide from everyone/thing except my husband. My husband is the only person who is always welcome in my space. If I cannot be in my space or my space is somehow invaded, I lose it. I become EXTREMELY stressed and depressed very, very quickly. If I cannot be in my space and Simon is with me...I'll be okay. He can keep me grounded. If I cannot be in my space and am also kept separate from him, I will be a wreck. A sobbing for days wreck. The antidepressants help calm that slightly. ...they'll keep me from actively freaking out much of the time - but it still leaves me incredibly tense.

So I spent about...4 or 5 hours today crying my eyes out because they not only told me that my husband would not be allowed to stay with me, they went so far as to actively mock me for wanting him to stay with me and then to tell HIM that my "stress doesn't matter, it's policy".

It just seems, I don't know...counterproductive to admit a woman for high blood pressure so she can rest and keep it lower...and then make her approximately 3,000 times more stressed than she was before.

Meanwhile, Simon is staying with Antti and Bonnie who are nice enough to put up with our crap - especially considering that Simon is ill and Bonnie is pregnant too (24 weeks, WOOHOO!).

So I am going to start up Half Life 2 and blow up some aliens to get out my aggression on the midwives...also, I'm going to eat all of their sandwichess. Delicious revenge.
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1 comment:

  1. UnknownAugust 23, 2010 at 9:39 AM

    it's a damn shame you don't have Postal... I bet they'd start listening to you!!

    Luv ya girl... hang in there!

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